Vincent of Jersey... was wearing a red and white t-shirt.

Birth Control

My sister has three beautiful, amazing children. The oldest, my goddaughter, Lucy, is 3 1/2. The middle child, Katie, is just shy of 2. Little Joey is three months old.

My wife and I have decided not to have children of our own, and we lavish all the love we can on these children, as well as our friends' children. They are smart, cute, funny, and do all the adorable things that little kids do.

But every once in a while, these little angels will do or say something that isn't so adorable.

I received this message from my sister via email:

Katie just waddled up to me, excitedly saying, "Here, Mommy! Here, Mommy!"

She stuck out her little arm, and extended her clenched fist.

"Here, Mommy!"

Then, she opened her fist to reveal a child-sized handful of shit.

She had stuck her hand down her diaper. I got her cleaned up and into her bathing suit, so they could run through the sprinkler.

At that point, I noticed she had also had an earful of shit. I need to go inspect the house to see where else she may have smeared her feces.

Those are the kind of times when it's better to enjoy children vicariously.