Can you hear them? They talk about us, telling lies. Well, that's no surprise.

I feel a sense of inner peace.

I have found my destiny.

In the clergy, they refer to it as a "calling."

Well, I was "called" yesterday. I know now what I will be doing for the rest of my life.

Maybe it had to do with climbing that mountain yesterday, as the "calling" came on my way home. Maybe it was fate. Karma. Kismet. The Force.

As I was driving home, I glanced over and saw it. It was as if the heavens opened and divine light shone down on me, guiding me toward this higher path.

Everything seems clearer now. It's like I was living my life in black and white until yesterday and now everything is in, full, vivid, High Definition color. Dare I say... miracle?

You know, until yesterday, I been extremely skeptical of people who said God spoke to them, or were abducted by aliens. I always wanted and needed proof.

While fortunately for you, dear reader, I had my digital camera at the ready to capture this moment of divine intervention.

What is it, you ask?

I now know and feel, to the core of my being, that I was born to drive the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile.


I will travel the earth, like Cane in Kung Fu, going from town to town, getting in adventures and spreading the gospel of Oscar Meyer Weiners.

She will be mine. Oh, she will be mine.