Saturday, December 24, 2005

When everything feels all over, when everybody seems unkind
I'll give you a four leaf clover, take all worry out of your mind

I sit in semi-darkness as the false dawn appears over the Bridgers.

Hot coffee steams in a mug that some artist made by hand. I can remember when India bought that mug at an art show.

I feel an emotional and social disconnect.

And I don't mind.

At all.

I was laying alone on the couch last night.

India was out with friends.

Well, not exactly alone. My furry friends surrounded me. As I dozed in and out through various movies, I began to wonder if I should be concerned that I have made no effort to make any new friends here in Bozeman.

I reeled it back in and asked myself, "Self, Are You Happy?"

It was with a mild shock that I realized... I Have Never Been Happier.

Every day feels like a vacation.

I live in a Paradise.

I have everything I need.

More importantly, I have nothing that I Do Not Want In My Life.

Understand the difference? Addition by subtraction... pruning... culling the herd of stressors, both self-induced and external.

The angst fades as I perform this little self-inventory. Sometimes, things do go right. Sometimes, we fail to see what is right in front of our faces. Sometimes, in the stillness of the pre-dawn, we can breathe.

And that's enough Yoda for one morning.

Time's up, kids.

I leave in exactly 2 minutes to meet one of my best friends (a brother I never had, really) to go snowboarding at Big Sky. I gotta put my socks on.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good that you're happy. And even more important, that you realise you are happy.

2:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

happiness is not a place

2:18 AM  
Blogger Andi said...

Glad that you are happy. I am working on it....but mainly I am.

2:14 PM  

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