Thursday, April 27, 2006

Well, here's a poke at you
You're gonna choke on it, too
You're gonna lose that smile
Because all the while
I can see for miles and miles

I chipped my tooth on a glass this morning. Just smacked it right into my tooth. No, I don't look like Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber. It's not that bad.

Lesson #1: Don't drink anything until you've had your coffee.

Conundrum: How do you drink the coffee in light of Lesson #1?

Consider: Straw? Rubber sippy cup?


Hot off the presses, from the Bozeman Daily Chronicle police reports:

€ A man tried on lipstick at an East Main Street cosmetic store. He then left to play guitar. He made the store's employees uncomfortable.

That is so awesome, I don't even know what to do with it.

Imagine working in a store.

Dude comes in, puts on some lipstick, and goes outside to play guitar.

You're uncomfortable.

What do you do?

What do you do?

(You sure as shit don't let that bus drop below 55 mph.)

That's right, you call the cops, and make sure the authorities keep an eye on this scoundrel.


Blogger P. said...

I'd wander out and throw a few lipstick samples into his open guitar case...something more his shade. Then I'd request some Stones.

11:35 AM  
Blogger Motor City Monk said...

I once chipped a tooth eating beef jerky. I was getting into a jerky frenzy just crunching like crazy on the stuff when two teeth collided awkwardly causing one of 'em to chip. That sucked.

1:06 PM  
Anonymous mop said...

Hey he wanted to look his best. I can dig that.

Now as I was ready to hit publish, I had to put those letters in the window. I still don't have any idea why we do that. Anyway, I had to type in "egfhxtab". That's right "egfhxtab". WTF is that? What happened to dog or mud or sumptin like that?

1:55 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

Hey there mop... I have that pain-in-the-ass word verification to stop spam comments.

Before I put it in, the comments section was inundated with solicitations for penis enlargements and low mortgage... because everyone knows that cock > 6" + mortgage < 6% is the path to eternal happiness.

I'll take it back down for a while and see what happens.

2:07 PM  
Anonymous Fred Shero said...

Sure, put on lipstick.

It's too much work to put on white contact lenses.

4:51 PM  
Blogger Jimmy D said...

Sweet! Now I know the path to eternal happiness...even though I'll never be able hit those standards. Where's my lipstick?

6:14 PM  
Blogger Gretchen said...

I chipped a tooth by hitting it with a fork. I've since stopped eating with such gusto.

1:17 PM  

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