Monday, May 01, 2006

Moving on the floor now, babe, you're a bird of paradise
Cherry ice cream smile, I suppose it's very nice

Ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag.

Fact: I have never been east of Baku. Unless Moscow is further east, but I don't think it is. (Ed. note: Baku is further east than Moscow.)

Fact: I have never been west of Oahu. Of this, I am certain.

Fact: I have never been north of Leningrad. Unless Edinburgh is north of Leningrad, but I don't think it is. (Ed. note: I'm right. Leningrad, now known as St. Petersburg, but it was Leningrad when I was there, so that's what we're going with, is indeed farther north than Edinburgh.

I guess I could have done a little research before making declarative statements about the outer limits of my personal latitude and longitude exploration, but screw it. It was more interesting this way.

Fact: I have never been south of Panama. Of that, I am certain.

Thank you, that is all.

This is not Nam. There are rules.


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