Friday, June 02, 2006

We are the sons of no one, bastards of young

Things about me:

1. I am smart. Not smart smart, or "intelligent," but more on the clever side. The unrealized-potential-wisecracking kind that drives teachers nuts. The kind of "smart" that gives the appearance of actual intelligence without delivering the complete package.

2. I do not excel at any one thing, except for maybe beating the system. Give me a system, be it educational, legal, financial, whatever, and give me a little time, and look out system. This is not necessarily an admirable trait. It is an organic love child of being "smart," as defined above, and too lazy to do the necessary work to go through the system in a straightforward manner.

3. Despite #2, I do several things well. Better than average, but not exceptional... just "well." That's me. Things I do "well," but not exceptionally: speak, write, read, stay fit, snowboard, recycle, socialize, spell, and maintain friendships.

4. I have a spotty memory. There is a lot I wish I could forget, and there is a lot I wish I could remember. Good with useless trivia, bad with names. By the way, memory is one of the key factors in elevating someone with an intuitive grasp of concepts from "clever" to smart-smart.

5. I am more "big picture" than "detail-oriented." I can handle details, when absolutely necessary, but I'd rather have a butler. You know, for details.

6. I have a subervsive streak a mile wide. I despise the following: The Man, the government, the mainstream, Top 40, network television, manicured lawns, fashion, country club culture, speed limits, minivans (sorry Will), structured play for children, people who don't read, labor unions, ignorance, and hypocrisy.

As noted 20th century poets, Rage Against the Machine put it:

I'll rip the mike
Rip the stage
Rip the system
I was born to rage against 'em!


(#2 and #6 are kissing cousins.)

7. I like big butts and I can not lie. You other brothers can't deny.

6 Comments:

Blogger P. said...

You are obviously very self-aware. Add that to your list.

Reading your self-description, do you ever wonder why you are not behind bars? (Probably a lot to do with #1.)

Oh, and that? That's just a comment from one smart-ass to another.

11:10 AM  
Blogger Joe said...

It's a miracle that I am not behind bars.

Really.

12:56 PM  
Blogger hot lips said...

I'm totally with you on #1 and #2 and half of 3, but you start to lose me on the snowboard, recycle, spell stuff. But my memory rocks ass. So there.

8:33 AM  
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8:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I used to love basketball.

Sometimes I felt like freakin' Tarzan out on the court.

Whoa! What a rush...

8:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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8:16 AM  

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