Sunday, September 24, 2006

Gather round, all you clowns
Let me hear say
Hey
You've got to
Hide your love away

What?

You came her looking for something?

Well, it's no longer here.

Yes, for about 8 hours, there was a link here to a video of me playing, "I'm On Fire."

'Taint here no more.

I should use the word taint more often in everyday conversation.

It should taint everything I say, with the taint of taint.

Annnyway, today was mellow.

I took the dogs for a walk.

Played some guitar.

Went to the gym.

Ate.

Watched The Wire.

Dudes, I gotta say, if you aren't watching that show...

And you like Deadwood, Sopranos, or Six Feet Under, then you have no excuse.

Because, honestly, it is better than any of them.

Yeah, that's right.

Better than The Sopranos.

I know how it is, though, when there is a new show, and you're like, "Shit, another show. There is no way I could get up to speed."

Well, you can.

You can Netflix or rent them, which, really is the best way.

And you should do it.

Because I said so.

And as for the musical deletion, since an uncomfortably large number of people read this now, I was stricken with a rare attack of the conscience.

(I was a lawyer, trained since birth to put a plastic bag over the screaming head of conscience and let it suffocate.)

We are trying to get Shit Mitten off the ground, and it would make things difficult if I was doing some type of solo project.

I mean, we're having some "artistic differences" as it is.

Bells is trying to drag us into this sensitive-soft-cock-singer-songwriter direction, while I am hell bent on having my tragic rock opera heard.

And also, since we now have a fucking 19 month old drummer, Bells is all like, "Dude, you gotta watch your language. Kid's starting to pick up on that shit."

And I start screaming, "LISTEN, THAT FUCKING KID KNEW WHAT HE SIGNED ON FOR WHEN HE AGREED TO PLAY THIS TOUR! FUCK HIM AND THE HORSE HE RODE IN ON! AND YOU KNOW WHAT?!?!? IF HE DOESN'T LIKE IT, HE CAN GET THE FUCK OFF THIS BUS!!"

And then, Chris said, "Well, maybe we can just think about changing the name of the band, Dude. Because, fuck, we're having a hard time getting booked as Shit Mitten. People just don't know what to make of us."

And I told him, OK, whiteboy.

I hear you.

I'll agree to a name change.

Cause I gotta get paid, yo.

Anyway, so, long story short, we're re-naming the band.

It's open to suggestion.

Previously, we have been Catpiss Junction, Big Wampum (hence the url of this blog, if you were wondering), Stinkfist (albeit, briefly), Thundercake, and Shit Mitten.

It's gotta be something that will initially terrify you, and maybe make you pee.

Just a little.

And seriously consider pooping, too.

Because, let's face it.

We've got armadillos in our trousers.

11 Comments:

Blogger Paulette said...

Me and the N-man came up with a name that fits just about every rock/bluesy bar band we've ever seen: Boozoid Boogie Droners. Sometimes we change the first word to Bluezoid, but usually by the time we've thought to say it, we can't pronounce the 'l' anymore.

8:15 AM  
Blogger Rachelle Jones said...

since I am a "Mom" I am gonna suggest
"poop mitten"

just so the kids don't have to walk around with a bar of soap.

8:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go with 'Tidy Whity' 'Bozeman Bros' or my personal favorite...SFB aka 'shit for brains.'
im

6:38 PM  
Blogger DJ MotorCityMonk said...

Skirt Fever
Poonanigans
Twist Off
Lovers & Shakers
Booty Bangers
Bastard Bones

11:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why not give it a shot. Let's see:

Spitton

Smelly Finger

Counter Trey

Mohawk and finally

Ixnay

5:06 PM  
Blogger Mike Angie Patrick Aaron said...

My alltime favorite - "Frozen Cattle"

11:18 PM  
Blogger DJ MotorCityMonk said...

Scratch "Bastard Bones" - I'm actually considering that one for our band. Rock on!

7:42 AM  
Blogger dogscratcher said...

You can never get enough taint.

4:38 AM  
Blogger dogscratcher said...

In fact, I think your band name should be "Twenty Pound Taint."

4:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm all for terrified condom.

12:09 PM  
Blogger hotlipz said...

What? I missed it? Put it back up. Email it to me. Something, anything. I don't like to miss out.

8:11 AM  

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