i fell onblack daysi fell onblack days

I received this from a friend via email today. Please take a couple minutes and read this:

Joe, just catching up on your blog tonight. *** is asleep on the couch and nothing good on TV, Oh. St. is crushing Iowa. I can't get your blog at school so I catch up at home about once a week.

Spent some time with my mom and dad today. Yesterday was a, hopefully, once in a lifetime day.

I'm not as faithful as I'd like, we get to church once a week, but that's pretty much what I'm comfortable with at this point. Yesterday I left work to go pray, never done that before.

You see, that principal that was killed in Wisconsin yesterday, he was the principal at Weston School District. Two years ago he replaced my dad.

For the previous 8 or so years my dad had that job. My mom called me up crying at 8:15 a.m. yesterday, this was before any of this hit the news. At that point she had heard that the principal had been shot in the head.

I really didn't know how to react. It was sort of like when I first heard that the twin towers had been hit, I remember that my reaction was "cool."

Fucked up huh, I remember that all I could think to say that day was "cool."

Of course I didn't really think it was cool, but that's what popped out.

Anyway, when my mom called I didn't know what to say either. My dad worked with that guy, both my parents knew him. He had/has a family, wife, kids etc., I felt bad for him and his family but also lots of relief that it wasn't my dad.

For that I felt guilty and I guess all that stuff piled up so I went to pray.

Then the guy, John that's his name, I should at least call him John, died after surgery.

So, I hung out with my dad today. He's retired now, works part time running Sunday school for his church, but as soon as he heard he went over to his old school. We talked about fun stuff today, we didn't talk about that.

I remember when Jeremy by Pearl Jam came out, and then later school shootings in Kentucky, Arkansas, and after that, of course, Columbine. I didn't have a good high school experience (one of the reasons I got into education).

Kids can be assholes you know, and I was more on the receiving end of that.

Then, for a period in my 20's I an tangent to the Goth crowd in Madison. So, with those previous shootings, there was always something in the back of my mind saying, "well the school should have seen it coming" or "maybe some of those kids had it coming," basically, empathizing with Jeremy a bit.

But now with this it's different. I've been to that school. It's not a big scary place.

Everyone knows everyone. Basically, it's small enough that no one can fall through the cracks. I don't think there's anything that principal John, could have done in days, weeks, months, previous to help this boy. So now I wonder, what is it?

I always thought blaming video games, music, violent movies and TV was a cop out. But now I actually wonder. How does a 15 year old (rural kid, not like a kid from the Wire, fighting to survive) come to rationalize killing someone?

Was he desensitized?

All these school attackers are white males. No black kids, no girls.

So who's studying that?

Anyway, sorry to ramble on like this, especially in light of Nort's son and Demi's mother and stuff.

Maybe just encourage your readers to hug their dad tonight or give him a call. And for any dads reading, tell them to really talk to their kids.

Being 15 can be tough, we all really need guidance at that age.

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Thanks, ****.

That is heavy.

Really heavy.

As for the rest of you...

Give your dad a hug.

Stand up to bullies.

Embrace the underdog.

If you hate something, don't you do it, too.