Well he's pouncing like a proud, black panther
Well, you can say I, I told you so
OK. Hump day.
I had a bad stretch today.
I woke up, showered, got dressed, and was going about my business- ham, egg and cheese bagel, a latte, morning paper, etc., etc.- and about 10 a.m., I looked down and noticed my fly was down.
Later, I was out and about, and I went to the bathroom. 20 minutes later, I looked down and noticed my fly was down.
I went to the gym, worked out, showered, and then I had to get India and take her to pick up her car, whcih was being fixed. She started laughing and informed me my fly was down... again.
This is not an exaggeration.
I left my fly down three separate times today for extended periods.
I was enjoying a continuous remembering-to-zip-my-fly streak of about a year.
Then, boom. Three times in one day.
Oddly, this has happened in the past.
I am not a chronic barn-door-open guy or anything.
It's just that every few years, there will be a week where I catch myself with my fly down 4 times.
But I have never started out with a 3-in-one day binge before.
I am expecting that Friday, I will walk out of the gym locker room with no pants on or something, a la Costanza at the party coming out of the bathroom shirtless.
It's a slippery slope from there to declaring the Summer of Joe and sitting in a track suit eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery.
I had a bad stretch today.
I woke up, showered, got dressed, and was going about my business- ham, egg and cheese bagel, a latte, morning paper, etc., etc.- and about 10 a.m., I looked down and noticed my fly was down.
Later, I was out and about, and I went to the bathroom. 20 minutes later, I looked down and noticed my fly was down.
I went to the gym, worked out, showered, and then I had to get India and take her to pick up her car, whcih was being fixed. She started laughing and informed me my fly was down... again.
This is not an exaggeration.
I left my fly down three separate times today for extended periods.
I was enjoying a continuous remembering-to-zip-my-fly streak of about a year.
Then, boom. Three times in one day.
Oddly, this has happened in the past.
I am not a chronic barn-door-open guy or anything.
It's just that every few years, there will be a week where I catch myself with my fly down 4 times.
But I have never started out with a 3-in-one day binge before.
I am expecting that Friday, I will walk out of the gym locker room with no pants on or something, a la Costanza at the party coming out of the bathroom shirtless.
It's a slippery slope from there to declaring the Summer of Joe and sitting in a track suit eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery.
posted by Joe at
4:01 PM
9 Comments:
I have similar streaks where I just can not remember to move my coffee cup when I lean across my desk. I wind up with coffee rings on my boobs. I'll go years without doing it. YEARS. And then something unexplainable happens. And one innocent morning out of no where I will be sitting at my desk, when I realize... ok that's the third time today I put my left tit into a cup of coffee.
Hi, i was looking over your blog and didn't
quite find what I was looking for. I'm looking for
different ways to earn money... I did think of this though...
We can rent out the open rooms in your house and give your readers the "Dude" experience. I'm talking up close and live. Eat breakfast with the Dude, galavant among wild grizzlies and pee licking goats with the Dude, and even get to heckle Michael Keaton with the Dude, "Hey Keaton, does your chippy have her driver license yet? How's her muffburger?"
Jimmiy D, me and the Boys will have a "check your zipper moment" at Breakfast in the morning just to honor your hat trick. Fix those trousers before you sinch em up again.
Eh, it happens. At a previous place of employment, I came out of the ladies' room, went and shot the shit with a male coworker while standing directly in front of him at his desk for 15 minutes, then when I got back to my desk upstairs, he had called his WIFE to have HER ask me if "any horses were left in the barn." Sheesh.
Mainly now I worry about bending in half looking for a file in the drawer or someone's desk while forgetting that I've worn something other than a turtleneck that day.
"Before we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese with some sort of bachelor paradise." (i am chagrined that i remember this)
Are you sure you left the fly open? Cuz I've heard about this invisibility potion that is all the rage with hot naked chicks ...
Maybe it was one of them ...
At least you had pants with you. Rememeber a ski trip weekend with no pants Johnson?
one time, years ago, i was so involved with work stuff that after showering off from my workout, on my way to the pool i forgot that i didn't put on my bathing suit before leaving the lockeroom, instead carrying it in my hand with the towel. about half way to the pool i realized what was happening. with a few folks around i calmly went my merry way, entered the pool area, slipped on my suit and went for a dip pretending like nothing was unusual. then i went home and staired out my living room window for an hour trying to figure out what the fuck that was all about.
Oh My God! This happened to me yesterday! Only once, though. But it was worse because someone had to point out to me that my fly was down. My response: Well, thank God I was wearing underwear today.
Which was a goof because of course I wear underwear every day. Panties are so important.
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