Friday, May 25, 2007

I sing my song to the wide open spaces

As I am still stranded in Mexico, I thought a guest blog might tide you over until we return to Bozeman tomorrow night.

Due to content, and the fact that this was an email, said guest-blogger's identity will be kept top-secret:

Hey, wanna hear something sorta disgusting and TMI, but kinda funny? Okay, so I ordered this lab work from an independent lab that tests for gluten intolerance via genetic testing and stool sampling. They send you the test kit, which I figured was going to be a couple of fancy Q-tips for the cheek swab (it was) and maybe some kind of dipstick for the other thing (it wasn't). The "other thing" testing consisted of the lab equivalent of a Cool Whip container. Yeah, they wanted a whole shitload, shall we say, for the testing.

So I follow the specific instructions for all this, which consists of making the deposit, of course, then taping said glorified Cool Whip container, placing it in a ziplock bag, and freezing it. Then packing it in a UPS lab pack and putting the whole shitteree in the same cardboard box it came in and slapping the prepaid UPS Next Day Air label on it to go back to the lab.

So I do all this and drive to the UPS Store and hand over the box. He looks at the label and says, "Prepaid, okay, you're good to go."

As I am walking back to my car I'm thinking to myself, "Dude, I so just handed you a box of shit."

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Anonymous ej said...

I had a full physical done a few years back and they asked for a stool sample to be brought back in.It wasn't till I got home and opened it that I realized it was the exact same type of box they give you Chinese takeout in, it had the little metal handle and everything except the chinese lettering on the side. I've never been able to look at general Tso chicken the same since.

4:55 PM  
Anonymous Fred Shero said...

Doo-doo is the main reason there is a nursing shortage in this great nation.

5:15 PM  
Blogger Quagmire said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:53 PM  
Blogger Quagmire said...

I am in LOVE with this post, and its first comment.

9:55 PM  
Blogger Veronica said...

Scorpion bites, stolen passports, gay Mexico, and a box of shit. This blog has everything.

Any news on re-entry yet?

2:58 PM  
Anonymous P's Daughta M said...

That puts a whole new spin on the UPS "brown" idea.
-What can Brown do for you?

8:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think I'll ever be able to eat Cool Whip again


6:00 PM  

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