Saturday, July 07, 2007

You're my best friend



It's time.

He needs my help to stand up.

I have to help him up and down steps.

We have had record heat. Today it hit 105 in Bozeman.

It's a record.

Not just for today; it was the hottest Bozeman has ever been.

(Global warming? Nah.)

((By the way, I live at 4500 feet elevation. In Montana. That's pretty far up north.))

(((Nah. Weather is cyclical. We had an ice age.)))

He has collapsed twice recently, in the heat.

I cooled him down with the hose in the back yard, spreading the cold water on his skin and his tongue, and telling him I loved him.

Reassuring him that he has always been a good boy.

I set him up with some air conditioning.

He is 15 1/2 years old.





He has been nothing but good that whole time.

He is still nothing but good.

I look and I watch. I try to weigh whether his joy is outweighed by his pain.

And it's time.

If, by any chance, you are saying It's just a dog, well, fuck you. You've probably never had a dog.

More's the pity.

It's unconditional love.

That phrase is bandied about a little too frequently, especially because it doesn't exist amongst humans, unless you are Gandhi or Jesus or Mother Theresa.

Aside from people like that, it just doesn't exist among humans.

We're too complex.

In general, barring abuse, dogs just love.

You give it; you get it.

My heart is breaking.

It's absolutely breaking.

It's time.

It's time, and it hurts.

It hurts like hell.

People say, "You gave him a good life."

He gave me a good life.

I love you, buddy.

Nobody ever loved me like you did.

I hope you felt the same.

I love you, Puck.



He's getting a nice big steak today, and we'll hang out together. We'll take a 'walk'. I'll let him know.

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13 Comments:

Blogger Mike Angie Patrick Aaron said...

Joe - very sad. I feel for you. I had to do it a couple of years ago and it tore me apart. Its good to share the time with him. I also shared a beer with Cojack before we finished. You are right about the unconditional love. There is nothing like having a true companion dog.

9:17 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Joe, I can't even begin to know how you feel, I think I do though. There were two dogs in my life that I cared very much about. They weren't dogs. They were family.

The one actually spoke. She said hello, I love you and out! as well as other things. Out was reserved for when the door was locked and she couldn't do it herself. She actually knew how to open and close the door behind herself when she needed to "go"... she'd let herself back in and close the door as well. I'm not talking about a doggie door here, I mean a real door.

I'm sorry Joe. I really am.

1:01 PM  
Blogger Builder Mama said...

I'm so very sorry, Joe. I still cry over my dog Brutus' death twelve years ago, because he was such a gentle and sweet soul and was my loyal friend. We used to do everything together and it left a huge hole in my heart.

When my friend had to put his 22-year-old dog to sleep two months ago, he cried like a baby and said the hardest thing was that people didn't understand how hard it was letting go even though it was time. But I got it, and I get it. No matter what people say, they're your family.

Just remember that he's somewhere right now running around like a puppy and having the best time ever. Bless you, Puck.

2:21 PM  
Blogger Eve Grey said...

Joe, so sorry about Puck. We had to put our dog Jack down a few weeks ago. He's buried at my brother's cottage & we were up there this weekend. Built him a nice grotto of rocks & ferns around it. I miss the little guy so much. It does hurt. So sorry.

2:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Call me day or night.

I'm so here for you, Joe.
There is no love on earth like this one. I have cried several times for you today.

There's nothing I can say. I so wish there was.
What a beautiful life you gave to that dog.
What a beautiful life.
Love
Veronica

2:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey joe, I am truely sorry for your lose. I understand the unconditional love for i love my dogs the way you love yours. They are our family and always will be but never our pets. Me and my mom had tears in our eyes reading this. I know its hard to cope with lose but i always look at the good wether it be there is no more pain or all the great and happy memories, It help me alot. I'm very sorry and wish for the best.
Alyshia

3:31 PM  
Blogger shy_smiley said...

Dear Joe, Barney, and Puck:

I'm crying now. It's hard to be merciful, making that decision seems impossible, but you've come to the conclusion your head knows is true. Good luck convincing your heart. You'll all miss him so much but he knows it's time to go, too. He'll be alive always in your memories. I'll be thinking of you and sending sympathy waves.

Becky (shy_smiley)

4:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude,

PPH told me. I cried. I love the business dog like he was one of my own. Dear, sweet Puck, laying under your desk, as content as any dog could possibly be. All he needed was you to be happy. And he was very happy because you were always there. You are in our thoughts and prayers, Dude.

JKP

9:07 AM  
Blogger b-lain said...

Dude,

You've been good to that dog, and his love for you is apparent. Jackson and I will be praying for you, and you will be more than welcome to come hang with Solomon anytime. Jackson and I will tell him all about his Uncle Joe in Bozeman, and we'll look forward to your introduction.

11:03 AM  
Blogger BUZZ said...

Dude, that really sucks.
I too have been in that situation, once doing so the day before my brother got married, and we had to tell him just hours before he tied the knot. That really sucked.
Just know in your heart that he loved you and he knew it was time as much as you did!

12:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I sat on the floor with my dog in my lap for hours the night before I took him for his final visit to the vet. In the end though, I knew this was best. He was suffering too much. Eventually it's gonna happen to all of us you know. I hope that if I'm suffering someone takes me to the vet and puts me down quietly.

1:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Puck thing tore me up Bro.

Peace,

Ivan

8:29 PM  
Blogger Rachelle Jones said...

'sorry to hear this...

very sorry.

Hope he enjoyed his steak, and his walk.

4:00 PM  

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