Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Take me down to Paradise City
Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty

I was sitting here reflecting upon my life and listening to Guns and Roses. Guns and Roses had their contemplative moments. Granted, they were few. And brief.

We're talking an aggregate 5/12 of a song per album, tops. A bridge here, a chorus there... maybe a pensive A minor or two. I don't get the impression that Slash spent a lot of time eating veggie burritos and aligning his chakras.

(Whoa oh oh oh, sweet child of mine)

But then again, who does?

There are people who have houses in the Yellowstone Club that pay someone thousands of dollars to coordinate the Feng Shui in their house.

What the fuck?

((The Yellowstone Club is the only private ski, and golf, resort. It's like Augusta, except it's an entire ski mountain with lifts and everything, but private. Gated. Bill Gates has a house there. From what I hear, he has a really long concrete driveway that is heated with electricity. When he leaves Seattle in his private plane, he gets on his geekberry, turns on the juice and the driveway melts the snow off the driveway.

Because if you're Bill Gates, why not?

I bet the driveway is only the tip of the iceberg. There are probably cameras all over the house that he can watch in realtime on his geekberry.

HD, too.))

Sooo... to reel this back in, I was thinking about what I write here, and the job that I have (job?!) and the job that I had (Your Honor, she ate my Pez.) and the people that read this (hi mom, hi former co-workers, hi clients, hi people in Bozeman who see me in the coffee shop or wherever and say hey dude, hi howard stern board people) ...

It affects what I write like an instant feedback loop, which is strange, and also compelling.

If I were scribbling in a teenage diary that I kept under my bed, it wouldn't be nearly as fun. I could write a book (which I would like to someday), but nobody would ever read it. You have to buy a book. This is free. A little diversion, like reading a good magazine article whilst taking a dump.

Paulette, I am sorry about the blurry pictures. I need a better camera.

Quagmire, I don't have hemophilia. Everything is alright. I just need to stop wiping out on my board at 35 miles per hour on hard snow. That's what gives you an elbow tit, a bruise, and a limp wrist. OK, the wrist was limp already.



Anonymous k-top said...

If this WERE your the teenage girl writing would have to be mortified if it were to be made public.Though I've never been a teenaged girl - not even during role playing - hey - seriously I havn't.
ok..when did this become about me ?
Look there was that one time when I jokingly said something like Michael Myeres on the bad old SNL during a Sprockets skit that I was as "...happy as a little girl." while pulling my t-shirt away from my chest with index finger and thumb of each hand to simulate budding breasts...but c'mon !! It was only that one time!
Sheesh !! You try to make someone smile at the absurdity of what is all around you and help them to forget for a couple of seconds that life is actually really fucking hard sometimes and you get labled like a can of beets for the rest of your life.
By the way...I checked. Most labled cans of just says "Beets". No one really knows what they are or who is harvesting or producing these colored slices of spheroid dirt tasting inadvertant stain producing tubor-like "edibles". No one.

where's my lighter ....

1:45 PM  
Blogger Eve Grey said...

Guns N Roses will forever remind me of having sex with this guy Sean. He put on Sweet Child & everytime he'd see me after he'd play it as if it were our song. So romantic these 16 year old boys.

6:27 PM  
Anonymous BUZZ said...

November Rain was our song. and his name was Steven!

4:39 AM  
Anonymous ktop said...

guns was the meatloaf we never had...ala pardise by the ,etc.,...

6:23 AM  
Blogger BUZZ said...

Wow... even in a personal Blog I have wannabes.

11:12 AM  
Blogger P. said...

I have a new-ish Sony [insert random nonsensical letter/number combo here] Cybershot, which was highly rated, and I admired the photos of friends who had the same camera. I, however, could not seem to take a decent picture for the life of me. Finally figured out there were too many goddamn options on it and the best (read: mediocre) pictures came when I just put the thing on "auto" and make sure I haven't accidentally turned my flash off. Still, I must have some kind of subtle palsy or something because Le Blur continues, although to a somewhat lesser degree. Fortunately, I have figured out there is a "sharpen" button in my photo software and I hit that mofo like a trained rat.

8:16 PM  
Anonymous ktop said...

to what clone would he be referring ?

1:09 AM  

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