Thursday, September 25, 2008

When I'm walking, I strut my stuff
And I'm so strung out

I have had an unbelieveable cascade of stress come down upon my head within the last couple days. To wit:

(1) The IRS crawled up my ass for the third time this year. Really. I got audited. It was a paper audit, no big deal. I screwed up my taxes in 2006. I had an accountant handle it. They tried to say I owed them $ 85,000 (!!). Turned out it was $ 4,000 (Grrrreat.) Understandable.

I re-filed, paid, and thought that was that... but no. Once they get the scent, they continue. The whole thing is bollocks.

Example: Oh, we noticed another thing about your partnership from late 2005, and we're just telling you now... and it is conveniently penalized at $ 85 per month, per partner (x2), for three years, so you owe us another $ ****. Sorry we forgot to notify you sooner.

Oh, and, that first thing?

We changed our formula for penalties and interest. Guess what? It's not a refund.

I swear, half of their game is trying to intimidate people who can't read or understand the IRS code.

Don't worry, I told them to shove it so far up their asses they'd need to install a window in their belly button to see where they were going.

(2) Remember when I told you about that hail storm that blew through the night we went to see The Dark Knight?

It did $ 15,000 worth of damage to my house.


(3) Remember my hernia surgery?

It's not healing so great. Turns out that I may have ruined the surgery moving some things in my garage, and it may be infected.

More fun!

^^Please, click that.

(4) Also this week (along with all of the above, by the way), I took my car in, and it turns out I needed all new brakes, rotors, the full monty.

In case you hadn't guessed, I don't drive a 1989 Ford Escort, and brakes aren't cheap.


(5) I had set up my mortgage on automatic payment, but, lo and behold, it never happened. I am now one of the millions of Americans who are in default on their mortgage... EXCEPT I HAVE MONEY IN THE BANK TO PAY IT.

I remedied that with a phone call.

(6) I met with the guy who remodeled my house. Oops. He's $ 5000 over his estimate, and we are halfway into part deux.

(7) I can't say too much about my job, which somehow manages to pay all of the aforementioned bills, but it is in the financial services industry, which you may have noticed is about to push our economy into the Great Depression- Take Two.

Oh, and My Morning Jacket cancelled their Bozeman show. That's not stressful,but it is a bummer.

Other than that, I'm great.

How you doing?



Blogger b-lain said...

oh, I got a rash on my ass, but you know me.

I can't complain....

9:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your dudeness,

Sorry to hear about all that. But, it's about time you had some stress to deal with. Divorce aside, your life has been much too good up until now. But don't worry it'll make you a better person in the end. Take it from me.....I'm a REALLY GREAT person right about now.


9:35 AM  
Blogger Gretchen said...

How am I?

Besides the fact that my sister's in the hospital, I just figured out how much it costs for a six year old to play hockey, I haven't had a good nights sleep July, and my husband will be gone for five days next week... Not bad.

The sun is shining, Honeycrisp apples are in season, the kids are doing well, and I have my health.

Have a great weekend.

11:46 AM  
Anonymous JB said...

Dude, that's very un-Dude, what's going on with you. But it's always darkest before the stage lights come on.

12:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fekk! that's mighty nasty shite goin down thurr dawg. but at leest u iz white. i iz pastin sumthin dat make u smile. it b insayne.

try figurin dis shite out 2nite, yo.

5:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also sorry to hear of your woes...woeful,woeful woes they be.

You are loved.

9:33 AM  
Blogger Eve Grey said...

That is a shit load of bad luck you got going on there. I was audited a few years ago too. Fucktards.

5:30 PM  
Blogger P. said...

Sorry about your run of bad luck lately. Take care of yourself, esp. that hernia situation.

8:37 PM  
Blogger Coach Ky said...

Joe -
Do you believe in Karma ( I know it sounds weird, bu My Name is Earl actual makes me think about this stuff )?

I got work force reductionized from a job that I was working 65 hours a week. That's bad. But I got to spend the entire month of August with my kids and wife doing stuff we could never do because I was always at work. That was good.

Still have no job, but I have still have severance. But I am getting close to a job, could get double paid for a while.

8:52 AM  

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