Tuesday, May 05, 2009

A wave came crashing like a fist to the jaw

I have a pretty great story to tell.

But I am going to kick back and work my way into it.

Here, watch this:

I love Joe Walsh.

You know what else I love?

The Boogie Station.

I don't even watch t.v. anymore. I prefer to cook or read or make sexytime with my special ladyfriend. But mostly, I hang out in the Boogie Station.

You should check out this guy. His name is Jason Lytle. This is a youtube from his old band, Grandaddy.

Dad, you would love this guy. He lives in Bozeman now. Explore his youtube and maybe buy his record. He writes great songs. Jason Lytle.

Enough of him, back to me.

Like I said, we have a pretty major investment in some hot peppers, basil and tomatos.

We also have a pretty major investment in rock

They both pay dividends.

Ladies love fresh basil.

I promised you a story.

O.K., here it is:

A few weeks ago, I was reading the paper and I saw that David Copperfield was coming to town.

I bought tickets.

What? I live in Bozeman. Not much happens here, except of course, in the Boogie Station.

It was on campus. I met Stanette there after work.

We walked in and were trying to find our seats, when this kid with a secret service earphpone walked up to me and started talking to me,
sotto voce...

-Sir, I work for David, would you like to come with me?

-Claro que si.

-Let me move you two down front to some better seats.

He wheels us down to the second row, on the edge, sits Stanette down and takes me backstage.

We walk past a black curtain on the side of the stage. All I can see is his white face, and all kinds of shadowy figures running around.

He asks if I'd like to be part of the show.

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

He started talking to me real fast, saying sometimes David likes to improvise, but here is what's gonna go down. You're going to walk up four steps. David will ask you your name. You will turn left and stand on the fourth step. Nod. He's gonna hand you a bucket. You're gonna hold the bucket just llike this.

(He puts a big bucket in my hands.)

He says you're gonna hold it by the edge.

-A duck is going to come out of the bucket. Try not to freak out.

-I'm cool, I make ducks appear all the time in my Boogie Station.

Once David takes the duck, you're gonna walk back to your seat. Once you get to your seat, someone os gonna yell DO IT AGAIN. David's going to call you back, he's gonna hand you the bucket and...


It's a shame I can't tell you the rest of the ILLUSION.

Stanette kept calling it "magic."

Magic is for Gandalf. You better recognize that.

Let's just say you saw what we wanted you to see.

A white duck, flapping its wings and likely shitting all over David Copperfield's pants.


The best part is me, interrupting Stanette 15 times during dinner and saying, "Listen, let me tell you a something about this business we call 'show.' I was backstage with David Copperfield, and..."

I can hardly finish typing it.


Just in case you think I was making this shit up, why don't you, I don't know...


He's awesome, man.


Blogger Molly Bell said...

That would only happen to you!

7:10 AM  
Anonymous Carol said...

I am laughing so hard! SO funny!!!

12:50 PM  
Blogger k-top said...

"Don't freak out when the duck comes out of the bucket."
That's about the funniest thing I have ever heard of.
This just in from the ASPCA...ducks should not be coming out of buckets. If your area has ducks coming out of buckets you should call your local emergency agency and barricade yourself into your dweeling. Ducks flying out of buckets is the fisrt symptom of an all out zombie attack.The second symptom or criteria is paying way too much for herbs and peppers.Spicy peppers being the strongest indicator. If you have recently purchased spicey peppers and have had contact with ducks flying from buckets you should call your local energency respose agency and seek shelter immediately as a zombie attack is imminent.
That is all."

10:27 AM  

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