Sunday, September 18, 2005

Temperature's rising, fever is high. Can't see no future. Can't see no sky.

Good morning to you, since you're probably reading this Monday morning at work, when the vast majority of visitors, likely bored and procrastinating, click to see what the Duder has to say. God knows why, but click you do, in ever increasing numbers, from all corners of the globe.


I purchased my season pass to Big Sky Resort today. There as a mind-boggling array of season pass options, each tailored to your schedule and anticipated skiing or snowbording needs. You could choose ten day, twenty day, pick two midweek-days, pick one midweek day. After much careful consideration, taxing my remaining brain cells to their limits, I opted for "unlimited." After my fifteenth day of riding, it will pay for itself... You gotta spend to save.

I was excited as a schoolkid. It rained a lot in Bozeman this weekend, and there is snow at higher elevations. The resort will probably open in November, and it'll be on like Donkey Kong.


One more thought on that party the other night... I found myself engaged in a few conversations that I term "Whip Your Dick Out" conversations. Apparently, there are people who need to know what you do before they can proceed to get to know who you are. In fact, what you do defines who you are for these people. And by what you do, I mean, for a living. And by for a living, I mean do you make a lot of money. And by a lot of money, I mean do you make more or less money than the person asking...

And that's where the "Whip Your Dick Out" comes into play. Apparently, this little dance is to establish the proper pecking order, so nobody inappropriate runs over and starts humping the alpha female or something.

I never really give a shit what people do, unless it is something really unusual, and then I will want to know more about it. Otherwise, I don't care. I understand that it is one of those social niceties, like talking about the weather, that provides a safe conversational playing field, therby avoiding standing in silence. God forbid we have silence in social situations.

I am more interested in, say, what you did last weekend, or what you do when you when you aren't getting paid. After all, it really tells you a lot more about a person and whether you would like to get to know them further, or just cut the conversation short and go take an intellectually stimulating leak instead.

Personally, I hold a much greater stake in whether or not you are funny. It is the highest valued trait on the Dude's Social Scale. If you can make me laugh, you are in. I will overlook other, horrendous personality traits if you are funny, and I will likely defend you to the bitter end. "Oh come on, lay off him. So, he got drunk and ran over some people, so what? He was hilarious!"

"Funny" is closely followed by "interesting." If you stray from the easy and obvious topics and have something interesting and engaging to say, I'm yours...

Admittedly, these criteria are arbitrary and totally subjective, but, fuck it. If you can't meet these criteria, you can wipe your ass with hundred dollar bills on your private plane, and I am not gonna give you the time of day.

All of this stems from the fact that a couple people insisted on pretty much extracting my educational background, (former) vocation, community involvement, boards I had served on, etc. I delivered my resume via the Socratic Method. It was revolting.