I'm a street walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm.

So...

It turns out that one of my best friends from childhood, adolescence, teenage rebellion and beyond also recently re-located to Bozeman, MT. In fact, he was my best man in my wedding. We have snowboarded together for years in California, Oregon, Colorado and Utah, and have frittered and wasted many hours paying guitar.

Chris works for the US Forest Service. He is married to Alicia, and they just had a baby on New Year's Eve, Aden.

It was entirely coincidental that he happened to move to Montana (he was transferred there because of work), but very, very cool. I may need to engage the services of an existential detective to get to the bottom of this.

But I digress.

I sent Chris an email recently. It was a "we're getting the band back together, man!" email.

I went on to suggest some band names:

- Catpiss Junction
- Bastard Juice
- Sassy Sauce
- Hoover
- Tastes Like Chicken
- Stinkfist

He wrote back that he found "Stinkfist" rather disturbing.

I kind of like it.

"I'm a little divided. Do I stay or run away, and leave it all behind?"

Ah, to be a fighter of foo.

So, this is me.

Joe 

In exactly 16 days, I will be moving. It is also a strange feeling. I went away to college in Boston when I was 17. (Boston College... go Eagles!). I majored in history. And specialized in having fun. There wasn't much employment in either my major or my specialty, so I did what thousands of other college grads do every year when they can't figure out what to do with their lives. I went to law school. (your back-to-back National Champions, University of Southern California... except I was with the varsity dork team at the law school.)

After law school, which I loathed, I moved back to my hometown in Wisconsin.

In exactly 6 days, I will quit my job. It is a strange feeling. I have worked there for ten years, and I actually am an owner of the business, which makes quitting a little more complicated. I am a lawyer (at least for the next six days), and I am a full partner in a law firm that bears my name (at least for the next six days).

This is my lovely child bride, India.


India 

No, I didn't get her from a mail-order catalog. Yes, I know she's gorgeous. And smart. And funny. And talented.

No, I have no idea what she is doing with me.

We decided to pack up our two senior citizen dogs, and our two cats and move to Bozeman, Montana.

Barney:



Puck, a/k/a Puck Doggy Dogg, a/k/a PDiddy, a/k/a Lumpy Rutherford, a/k/a The Carpet Pissing Chinaman:



The fam-damily, except the cats:



Why?

To live off the fat of the land.

To become a shepherd.

To start a band.

To start a militia, build a fortified compound and fly the flag upside down outside our house.

To snowboard til my legs fall off.

To hone my grizzly-fighting skills.

To support Pedro's presidency.

Hhey, man... there is a beverage here!