Sunday, March 19, 2006

In the year of the scavenger, the season of the bitch
Sashay on the boardwalk, scurry to the ditch.

1. The Sopranos sucked tonight. Lazy, lazy, lazy writing. 54 minute show, and they spent 35 minutes in bullshit dream sequence. Lazy, lazy, lazy.

2. The polygamy show. It gives me a headache just watching it. I'm losin' it with this one.

3. Fitnarking shug. Bilztakken muggillities nor splitznaff withtidrick. Chigg.

Got a big plan
This mindset maybe its right
At the right place and right time
Maybe tonight
And the whisper or handshake
Sending a sign

Today was my first day at Bridger Bowl.

It was a powder day, but there was some crust underneath on the lower reaches.

To reach the top 800 feet of vertical, one must hike.

And climb.

And sweat.

And huff and puff.

It was well worth it, though.

You are required to carry an avalanche transceiver and a shovel to hike the ridge. You wave this little doohickey against your chest and it beeps if you have a transceiver, then they let you up.

[An avalanche transceiver emits a radio (I think) signal. When you are riding or hiking, or buttering your muffin in an avalanche chute, you set the transceiver to "transmit." When your friend, whilst innocently buttering his muffin, gets buried in a shitload of snow, you switch it over to "receive" and start waving it around.

Then you commence an electronic version of "warmer, warmer, warmer, colder, now warmer" until you find your buried friend.

Next, you pull out your shovel and dig.

When you find your buried friend, you whack him with the shovel and steal his muffin.]

They also require you to buddy up with somebody who knows the Ridge, in my case, McC.

And thank goodness for that.

Because after hauling my ass up 800 vertical feet, and then hiking along a slippery ridge, I kept asking, "How about this one? It looks suh-wheat."

And McC would say, "Nope, cliff band. Mandatory air."

And I would say, "Oh."

Tne very next chute, I would say, "How about this one?"


I'm not very patient, see.

Instant Gratification pleases my inner child to no end.

So, thank goodness for McC.

We passed several untracked chutes until we reached "The Nose," where we descended.


It made all the hiking well worth it.

There is not a damn thing wrong with an untracked chute through sparse trees, covered with 18 inches of snow.

Not a damn thing.

I nearly choked on it, because I inhaled some.

Fun day. We hiked the Ridge twice and rode the lifts.

Verily I say unto thee, it was a freaking workout.

McC, he's a telemark skier. They are gluttons for punishment.

I'm a Big Sky guy.

I like riding up 800 vertical feet, as opposed to kicking out boot-step after bootstep up it, earning each and every turn.

But that's just me.

It was a really fun day today.

The new board held up well. I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.


And fast.

After I returned, I walked my savage beasts around the neighborhood. O.K., it was more of a stroll, and stroll we did.

I made some tea.

Then I went to Costco and bought a new camera.

The average visitor to The Dude Abides reads at a fourth grade level and "really likes pretty pictures." [They did a double-blind study.]

So the Dude Obliges.

Anyway, by the time I figure out how this one works, there should be some great mid-summer pictures.

A term that I don't use enough: Shit hot.

(You're gonna have to deal with a snowboarding post or two until I launder my karma and get my mojo back.)