Tuesday, March 20, 2007

On a mountain range
I'm Dr. Strange
For you

I have been listening to a lot of T. Rex since I bought the gong. You know, just followed "Bang a Gong" down the rabbit-hole.

(Did I mention that I bought a gong?

That's right. A fucking gong.

And, I tell you, now I wonder how I lived without it.

It makes for a wonderful punctuation mark to whatever you have to say. It really conveys the declarative, "I have spoken" point that I try to get across at the end of a sentence.

In fact, I am looking into picking up one for the car and one I can just carry around. I think it would be handy for getting the attention of that waitress who spends too much time chatting with other tables when I want the check.

I'm gonna pay a college kid to carrry it and follow me around, like P-Diddy paid that guy to follow him around with an umbrellla.

Nothing really says I have arrived like a servant and a mobile gong.)

Where was I?

Oh yeah, T. Rex.

Good band. For you kids, spend 99 cents, or don't, and download the song Mambo Sun. If you don't like it, I'll give you your money back, or not. If you do like it, then dig deeper, Jeepsters and Planet Queens.

The real reason I wrote though, was this guy at the gym today.

He was about 21-23 years old, maybe 5'10", blond buzz-cut, and an earring in the top of his ear.

He was getting dressed in the locker room when I walked in.

He had "C A N C U N" tattooed across his upper chest in large, maybe 3" stylized letters.

((I amn not making this up.))

So much went through my head. Too much.

I wanted to throw him a huge thumbs-up, slowly nod and say, "Dude. Cancun."

Holy douchebag, Batman.

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When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool

Quagmire hasn't updated his blog since January, and I know we all miss his unique perspectives on being a a 38 year old gentile cynic attending an all-Jewish medical school in the Boogie Down Bronx.

I recieved this simply delightful email from him last night. Here it is, in it's entriety:

Not 2 hours ago, I was practically wrist-deep in a man's rectum.

Just thought you should know.

My favorite quote of the lesson: "Wow! Good Job! You got your finger directly on my prostate!"

I swear, the guy was acting like I had just won a carnival game.

Hope you had an equally...enlightening day.