Monday, August 14, 2006

He won the lottery
When he was born
Big hand slapped a white male american
Do no wrong
So clean cut
Dirt his hands it comes right off

I had a weird convergence of contacts with a bunch of my closest friends within the last feew days.

Good morning, class.

Escuchen y ripiten.



Lupe Ayala es muy guapa.

Class: Lupe Ayala es muy guapa.

(That's me ^^^ driving a Porsche 911 Turbo convertible. It's obnoxious to brag about that, but fuck you. It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.)

Today was the hardest day.

It really was.

(Again, with the Porsche.

Again, fuck you.)


Thanks for coming over today. And helping.

Grew up together in the Dam.

We have been best friends since we were about 13.

And, most remarkably, we have remained best friends for lo these past 23 years.

He was the best man in my wedding, and gave the single best man speech I have ever seen (and I've seen a lot of weddings... shit, I have been in 8 or 9...).

Anyway, we both ended up moving to Bozeman, Montana at the same time last year.

Isn't that about the coolest thing you have ever heard?

Anyway, Bells, thanks.

Also, T-Rex, it was nice talking to you today.

I can't wait to see you on Wednesday.

And my thoughts are with Vaughn, who needs some surgery.

And, of course, the only person with whom I ever seriously considered polygamy, Alison.


I would just slide right into that family, and I don't think we would miss a beat.

Plus, hey, they sincerely offered.

Y'know, to take me on, as second husband.

Because they know I can do that crazy-ass, Chloe Sevigny, pshycho-second-wife role with my eyes closed.

I also really want to thank Double-B, a/k/a Blain the Great

He made me come to Billings on Friday, and see the Black Crowes at the Billings Blues Fest.

And meet his lovely girlfriend, Lindsay, who was an absolute sweetheart to me.

I think it is safe to say we had some fun.

Me and Double B:

UJ& Antuan also called me today.



They were at the big Madison Brew Festival.

A few years ago, I took a bus (one of three) from the Dam, to the beer festival.

I went with my buddy, Killer, and we met up with Antuan, UJ and Carmela.

UJ and Carmela introduced me to a series of their lesbian friends, who to that point only knew me as "that guy, Joe, who took a road trip to Montana with UJ."

(And that road trip actually begs for to be chronicled.)

So, they went ahead and called me Joe Montana that day at the beer festival.

(They being the lesbians.)

It was great to get the phone calls from you dudes yesterday:

The pre-game-we-are-waiting-in-line-wish-you-were-here-call; and

Hey-dude-it's-two-hours-later-and-we're-getting-hammered-with-lesibians-again-WOOOOOOOOOO- HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Honestly, your calls were funny, and your sense of timing is impeccable.

Here is Dan-O, Will Danger and me in Vail in 1998:

I talked to both of those guys this week.

Dan-O is a rock-solid dude.

He is coming for a visit at the end of October.

We haven't seen each other since the courteous vampire got married.

To The Dad:

(Hey, Jimmyboy-

Here is the picture of "Two Old Goats," you have been requesting:

^^That's The Dad, he whom begat the Dude. Thanks to The Dad for callin' me and checkin' in.

And thanks to the Dad, who borrowed my car for an afternoon while he was out here, and brought it back vacuummed, with a new set of tires and new windshield wipers.

I mean, fuckin' a., whaddaya say to that?

And to my Moms, who always makes me laugh when we see a Yard-O'-Beef at Costco.

And, of course, India, my dear.


The Dude.