Thursday, March 09, 2006

It's only just a crush, it'll go away
It's just like all the others it'll go away
Or maybe this is danger and you just don't know
You pray it

You pray it all away but it continues to grow

Thanks, Eck, for that tune. It is rapidly climbing the "most played" playlist on the dude's ipod.
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There's a buttload of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bo staff.



Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip.



Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day.
Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.



Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.



Try and hit me, Napoleon.



What?



I said come down here and see what happens.


{By the by, you have no idea how steep this actually is. None. Think standing on the side of a high-rise, Spidey-style.}

Do you think people will vote for me?



Heck yes! I'd vote for you.



Like what are my skills?



Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.



Dang! You got shocks, pegs... lucky! You ever take it off any sweet jumps?

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I'm kinda struggling with that self-imposed moratorium.

After much consideration, I had to share this story...

See that?



That is a ski-patrol rescue sled. If you get hurt on the mountain and cannot get down, ski patrollers come and get you, tie you to that toboggan and tow you down the hill.

So, I'm sure you're wondering, "What is that rescue sled doing in that tree?"

Funny you should ask.

This is right below the back side of Lone Peak; the terminus of the tram.

It is at the top of the Shedhorn lift, where the lifty shack is a squat, concrete structure.

So, why is the sled in the tree, and why would the lifty shack be a squat concrete structure?

Avalanche, that's why.

A few years back, there was a huge avalanche from the Dictator Chutes, which loom over the Shedhorn lift shaq.

It wiped out the wooden lifty shaQ, the lift itself, and deposited that sled 8 feet up in a tree.

(I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down.)

So they rebuilt the lifty shack as a bomb shelter, and left the sled there as a reminder of the power a mountain holds.

Sweet.

I have a treat for you.

Ever hear the term "face shots?"

Get your mind out of the gutter.

This video is a textbook definition of the term.

Check it out.

Not coincidentally, this was shot in the Dictator Chutes, which begat the sled-depositing-shaque-destroying avalanche.

It took me like three hours to finish the shading on the upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done.

Seriously.

Oh, and I finally dropped into the Big Couloir.

Wasn't nothin' but a thang.

I can tell by the way you that you switch and walk
I can see by the way that you baby talk.
I can know by the way that you treat your man

I can love you baby til it's a cryin,..
beatiful girl lovely dress
15 smiles oh yes
beautiful girl, lovely dress>


When I am old and infirm, please come by and remind me of what a bad walkman-singer I was.

Because, essentially, I am already barrelling down the information highway with one finger on the wheel, pedal to the metal, laughing out the sunroof of your 1985 Buick, screamin' out Cheap Trick lyrics like I did back in double-aught in Disney with Dan-O & Leo, keepin' it real, representin' the BDC.

Recently my friend, P. said you could play the Stones however you want...

I really believe that to be true.

===

Here are the most popular search terms people used to get here today:

1. "My daughter is F@*$ing a bl@ck dude." Note that I am trying to cut down on this search term by no longer typing it in full. I have no idea why, but people continue to come here, researching that topic.

2. "Moustache grooming." No shit. Cuz you know I rock the magnum:


3. "Lebowski Acheivers." 'nuff said.

4. "Swollen finger knuckle."

5. "All I can think about is Kielbasa."

Well!?

Try to NOT think about kielbasa.

Right.

6. Feeling Unknown.

7. "Where do bad folks go when they die?"

8. "Yer mother swims after troop ships."

9. Three Musketeers Bar.

10. You got a reaction, didn't you?

I swear before our Lord and Savior, Kenny Rogers, these search terms are for real.