Sunday, September 04, 2005

No matter how hard you try, you can't stop us now. We're the Renegades of Funk. Poppin', sockin', rockin', puttin' a side of hip hop.

Will is late, so here are a few quickies:

There aren't many bugs here in Montana. Nevertheless, I just may go to Wal Mart amd buy a bug zapper. Why? 'Cause me and my lady, we need some mood lighting in the bedroom. That, and I have the flies.


The Hives are great because only 25% of their songs crack the three minutes, and most don't even crack two minutes. There is value in saying what you have to say and shutting the fuck up. Someday, maybe I will apply that to myself.


Is there any reason to keep these 700 cd cases around anymore? Does anyone give a shit what song number 6 is on Rage Against the Machine's first album is? (Know Your Enemy.)

Speaking of whom, I saw them at the Tibetan Freedom Concert about 5 years ago with my friend Bells. (The Cult, Blondie, Eddie Vedder, The Roots, Run DMC, Otis Rush, Live and the Beastie Boys also played.)

But Rage Against the Machine ruled the day. It was the loudest, angriest, rockingest (new word), kick-assingest (another) hour of music I have ever seen. You could Feel the Power.

I wish they had never broken up. Audioslave is but a pale, pale shadow of what once was...

Seriously, it was that good.

And I have seen some damn good concerts in my day. The Who's first farewell in '89. An Amnesty International Show back in the 80's with U2 and a reunited Police, and Robin Williams (when he was funny) doing stand-up between acts. Several really good U2 shows. Floyd. Led Fucking Zeppelin from the 6th row in Vegas (Vegas!)... I know, it was Page-Plant, but Jimmy Page was sober, and it was Led Fucking Zeppelin as far as I am concerned. I have seen some excellent Pearl Jam shows. Stevie Ray Vaughan. Too many to remember...

But that Rage show.


Happy Labor Day.

I have adult ADD.

And the flies.

When life seems full of of clouds and rain
And I'm full of nothin' but pain
Who soothes my thumpin' bumpin' brain?

I have been on a massive uploading project, in a quest to fill my iPod.

I have loaded around half my cds so far, and the tally stands at 2078 songs, 9.28 gigs... which clocks in at around 5.7 straight days of music.

By the time I finish, it should be double that.

It has been an interesting project and a pleasant diversion from the Bullshit in the Bayou, as well as from another Top Secret Project that is putting a terrible strain on my 6 remaining brain cells. They are currently engaged in a mutiny and are trying to escape through my left eye.

In the past, I would have quelled such a rebellion by indiscriminately killing off a few million of them, but now that there are only six left, I have to handle them with Kid Gloves.

Anyway, as I sift through all of this music, I have rediscovered some great music that I have forgotten about. I also have a new appreciation for the lost art of the "album." For you youngsters, musical artists used to record entire "albums" that were worth hearing. That means you would throw on the "album" (disc) and listen to the whole thing.

The Rolling Stones were masters of this lost art. (Emphasis on "were." See, e.g., Exile On Main Street, Sticky Fingers, Beggar's Banquet, Some Girls and Let It Bleed) So were the Beatles and Led Zeppelin (see, e.g., Rubber Soul, Revolver,, Abbey Road and II, III, Physical Graffiti and Houses of the Holy.)

In more recent times, say, during the last 15 years, Nirvana managed to smack a few out of the park as well. (Emphasis on "smack." See, e.g., Nevermind, Incesticide, Unplugged and In Utero.) Radiohead, Pearl Jam, U2, the Beastie Boys (now, the uninitiated, narrow-minded among ye are saying, "WTF? The Beastie Boys? Pick up Paul's Boutique, or ask me nicely and I will burn you a copy. It is the best hip hop album ever made. Trust me on this one.) and the Chili Peppers have also managed this feat on more than one occasion.

A few truisms apply in any era of music:

1. Johnny Cash rules. Know it. Live it. Don't forget it.
2. If you haven't listened to The Unforgettable Fire in a while, do so. It still holds up.
3. Tenacious D have recorded the 2 best songs ever about Sausage and Fucking, respectively.
4. Jay Z is the H-to-the Izzo-vah, Nelly has some damn catchy tunes and Snoop can kick it old school, but Dr. Dre is the King Who Begat Them All.
5. Nobody currently recording music makes better alone-in-the-car-volume-all-the-way-up-sing-along-at-the-top-of-your-lungs-and-not-give-a-flying-fuck music than Dave Grohl and the Foo Fighters. Nobody. (There is a reason one of his lyrics were the first title on the first entry of this blog.)
6. Back when he was black, and human, Michael Jackson created the greatest grooves since James Brown in Billie Jean. I hated it at the time, but I listen now, and it is amazing. Dr. Dre could cut that track up and make, like, 50 songs out of it.
7. And speaking of James Brown, give the drummer some, baby.
8. Has anyone ever gone from Great to What The Fuck Was He Thinking and back to Great more times than David Bowie?
9. "I'm a street-walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm" is the Most Bad Ass Lyric in history. Thank God for Iggy Pop. (There is a reason this was the second lyric used on this blog.)
10. My running pace (8-ish minutes per mile) matches the rhythm of the Strokes first album.

Well, I could go on all day, but Will Friggin' Danger and family are rolling into town in a couple hours.

Keep it real.