Monday, October 23, 2006

Three more days
Girl, you know I will be right there by your side, baby

Lookin' like The Mitten will be kickin' it down this weekend.

So, fun.

Good times.

Good times.

I also talked to this guy.

He is from Vermont.

He is friends with my next door neighbor.

He said that he has been checking all over the place, and he found a New England Patriot cheerleader outfit that he is going to wear on Saturday.



Pom poms.

That's pretty impressive.

It made me realize that I don't have any kind of costume for the big Mitten gig this weekend.

How big, you ask?

Well, for the first time, the crowd will outnumber the band.

We might need security, in case Dan-O, UJ and the Eck decide to start stage diving.

Because Dan-O?

He's got some skills.

The kind of skills that chicks dig.

He has deceptive speed, for one. Sneaky fast.

I am pretty sure he can grow a mustache.

I have seen him fight crime, and, trust me, he's good.

Damn good.

And he has that crazy retard strength.

The kind where, under the right circumstances, he can lift up a car, or pull a refrigerator down the street with his teeth.

Once, at a party, after he had a few drinks, I saw him perform surgery.

So, if a guy like that goes to see a band like The Mitten, you just never know what might happen.

Yeah, we hired a choreographer, and Bells and I have been working out some sick dance moves.

It's super tight.

You better Recognize.

Been listening to a weird mix of music.

Ray LaMontagne has some really, really cool tunes. Bring Me Flowers is off the hook.

Been grooving on Jay Z lately, too. Brush That Dirt Off Your Shoulder. Justify My Thug.

Hey, did you guys hear Jay Z has come out of retirement and is dropping a new album in November?

Hell to the yes.

Of course, I have been spinning Tenacious D.

And doing cock push-ups.

Cock push-ups?


Well, how many push-ups can you do?

Cock push-ups?


Well, one.

One's all you need.

(Mom, I am sorry for that one. It is a Tenacious D bit, off their album. Just quoting them. Still working on the fingernail thing, too. Love you.)

((Please note, I just typed a note to my mom one line after I typed about only needing to do one cock push-up. What the heck is wrong with me? Wait, don't answer that.))

(((Multiple parentheticals are the new P.P.P.S.'s)))

((((For reals.))))

(((((Except they aren't confined to the end of the letter.)))))

((((((Because that's how parentheticals roll, yo.))))))

I have been slacking on the nature pictures lately.

That is a bi-product of working out in a gym and spending all my free time playing guitar.

Which is too bad, because nature is definitely happening right now.

The montanas are snow capped. (I was speaking Spanish there. Montanas = Mountains. Dumbass.)

I saw a gi-normous bald eagle yesterday, too. Hee-yuge. When they take off, it catches your eye, no matter what, because the adult wingspan of the ones around here is usually over 7 feet.

((((((((I like that picture^^^. That is not digitally manipulated. I have no idea who-the, what-the, how-the heck it happened, but it did. That was back when Carp and Stacey visited me and Bells, and Carp bought a drum set for us {Thanks, Carp!} and launched The Mitten to the next level.))))))))

Re: the pictures, though. The Dude Abides is cyclical. You get your nature. You get your snowboarding. And in between, you get some ridiculous rock and roll stories, and general douchebaggery.

If there is one thing at which I excel, it is general douchebaggery.


Well, I think that is enough for now.

Hope you all have a fulfilling Tuesday.

May your soul sing on Tuesday.

May Tuesday see you throw the index-finger-pinkie-finger Rock On Salute to somebody.

May your Tuesday be free of Carpet-Pissing Chinamen.


And, please remember, if you don't like what you read here, well... you get what you pay for.

Tip your bartenders.

I'll be here all week.

I have been getting some haters lately.

And this series of pictures is for them.

The haters.

Because, you know what?

Do you?

I don't think you do.

Well, here it is...

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Ready, haters?

Living well is the best revenge.