Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Fame (fame) makes a man take things over
Fame (fame) lets him loose, hard to swallow

I have decided.

It is a good decision.

Why is it a good decision?

Well, because it is funny.

Even better, it will likely be only funny to me.

What, you ask, have you decided, Joe?

I have decided to throw out the phrase, "Do you know who I AM?" on a regular basis.

"How many?"


"That will be about ten minutes."

"Do you know who I AM?!"

Sometimes, I just kill me.


I'm also thinking of purchasing about ten thousand acres out in the boondocks.

I want to set up a nice guest ranch with a private airstrip where billionaires can come and hunt homeless people.

We will also provide taxidermy, for a small fee.

6 a.m., day after Christmas, I throw some clothes on in the dark, the smell of cold, car seat is freezing, the world is sleeping
I am

I considered hiring some existential detectives.

But then I drew inspiration from a more reliable source.

Boon: This is ridiculous.
Pinto: What are we gonna do?
Otter & Boon: Road trip.

That's right.

Road trip.

It'll cure what ails me.


I am going to throw a bunch of stuff in my car and hit the road Thursday night.

I plan to Guerilla Camp.

(This isn't as risquè as you would think. There are national forests everywhere, and you can camp wherever you want in a national forest... I think for up to two weeks.

All that "this land is your land this land is my land bullshit?"


I do have a destination in mind. I will visit my sister & my nieces and nephew. They will be in Central Oregon for a couple days, and I will meet them there.

On the way, though, I will be seeing a few things and going a few places I have never been. Namely, crossing Lolo Pass, the place that nearly killed Lewis and Clark, and visiting some remote wilderness in Central Idaho. The Bitteroots, the Clearwaters, the Selway River, the Snake River and perhaps Hell's Canyon.

None of this is planned, of course, because that would defeat the essential nature of the road trip. I may or may not end up in Portland.

If I do, I will return along the length of the Columbia River Gorge.

I was going to leave Friday.

But now I think I will depart on Thursday.

I'm feeling better already.

Aren't you?