Monday, March 02, 2009

It's an eminence front

The trauma can crush you.

Accumulated wealth has been destroyed. Years worth of work, doing the right thing, saving... gone.

It reminds me of when I lived in Los Angeles in the early 90's. The Northridge earthquake hit and it was huge. I believe it was close to a 7 on the Richter scale, which is Hand of God big. It was a Saturday night, or Sunday morning, actually, at 3:45 a.m. My house started shaking.

My bed was bouncing and slamming up and down, with about six inches of travel. The cupboards opened and our dishes and glasses fell out and broke.

The dog was howling and I thought it was the End.

I lived in a beach community called Hermosa Beach. We were fine, in the end... but later, we found out about something called liquefaction.

Essentially, living on the beach, our house and community was built on top of sand. If the epicenter had been closer (it was 45 mmiles away), the sand would have shaken so hard that it turned to something liquid, akin to quicksand, and our house would have just sank.

The ocean would have come in, and filled the space between the grains of sand.

That's what it feels like now, metaphorically.

Everything is just gone, buried and lost.

But you have to get up and try to keep swinging.

I look out the window and see the sunrise on snowcapped peaks.

I look next to me and see someone who loves me completely.

I get to make music with my best friend in the world.

I make sure I go snowboarding on those bluebird powder days.

I see the river, and the eagles. I narrowly avoided hitting a bighorn sheep Saturday. I tell my sisters I love them.

I listen to my parents.

I get lost in a good book.

I write.

(Yes, that's a cowbell.)

I play guitar and make it sound as painfully sweet as I can.

I call my friends, old ones, and make contact.

I call the karma police and ask them who and what army is going to come and get me.

Hang in there.

Remember what's important.

It isn't what's causing you to lose sleep. It is the stuff you take for granted.

Don't do that.

We're going to get through this.

We're going to get through this.