Sunday, December 04, 2005

Dig if you will the picture, of you and I engaged in a kiss

This is what it sounds like, when doves cry

OK, OK, OK...

I am getting a lot of questions. People want to know what is happening, why I am here, etc., etc.

Why am I in Minneapolis for three weeks?

As most of you know, I moved to Montana to become a shepherd-poet, first and foremost. Also, as a side gig, I wanted to grow a recreational moustache and bring it back as a fashion.

Well, that stuff all got off to a roaring start. I was tending the daylights out of that flock of sheep. I was tending like a motherfucker. I made so much bank tending those sheep that I outsourced the poetry gig to China. (In fact, this paragraph was written by a 14 year old Chinese boy in a tenement in Beijing. I pay him $ 1.25 a day. It's a fucking steal.)

After that, I had a lot more time to devote to my moustache. I grew it. I rocked it. I sported a "Free Moustache Rides" t-shirt. I did it all. The moustache is the new mullet.

That went so well, that I began to branch out and explore the studio space with my moustache. I started to groom my moustache. Elaborately. I got into arguments with my sponsors, and shaved my moustache into the word, "slave."

This got me a little media attention, and yada yada yada, I got an audition to become one of Prince's backup dancers.

I couldn't be more excited.

It is a three week audition. All we did the first week was mostly stretching and electolysis hair removal. I am hairless and lithe, just like my employee in Beijing. This week is spandex and ruffles, and we may start a little dancing.

So, there it is. That is why I am here.

Wish me luck.

Keep it purple, bitches.