Thursday, February 08, 2007

Have you been half-asleep
And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name

Are these the sweet sounds that called
The young sailors
I think they're one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
There's something that I'm supposed to be

Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me

^^Figured out that song on guitar yesterday and today. Surprisingly tricky for a frog with a goddamn banjo.

But once you have it and you're stroking it, it feels really good.

What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing? And what do we think we might see?

Well, it takes you right back to when you were ten.

And that ain't a bad place to be.

Especially when you have a professional singer belting it.

And, I am not talking about me.

I am a professional, but I am not a singer. I am a professional bowler. And I also compete in cash purse crossword tournaments. But only statewide.

I also am a professional breakfastarial. That's right, I said breakfastarial. I crunch numbers. I fry hash browns. I make spreadsheets. Bacon. G.A.A.P. Sausage. F.I.F.O. Over medium with salsa. And, oh. Oh. Aahhhhh. Melted cheese.

Was it good for you?

It was good for me, too.

I am a breakfastarial artist, and I sculpt my feelings with bulk sausage and a slide rule, blending cultures and serving a sassy side of back bacon.

^^That is Dan and me in Utah. A couple of professionals. Professional crossbow tourney champions. Dan is a really good ax-thrower, too. He's not quite a pro, and the sport doesn't get much coverage, but he can throw an ax like a motherfucker.

Guess what?

I just bought the Stones "Sticky Fingers" album for the fourth time. I bought the cassette tape in 1986. Then I bought the cd in 1990. That one got stolen at a party in 1992.

Screw L.A.

I bought it again in 1995 when I moved back to the Dam. That one lasted a long time (me love you long time), until this last fall, when I went to see the Black Crowes with Lindsay and Blain and Ralph.

We were a bunch of high-rollers. Or professional roller derby queens.

So, we were driving different cars, and I had stolen Blain's Jay Z, and he yelled at me that he didn't have any music, so I flung my copy of Sticky Fingers at him.

He listened to it, liked it, kept it, and I just bought it again.

It snowed today and tonight.

So, I am going to take a well-deserved day off from whatever it is I do and go snowboarding. Rest assured, I do plenty. Of whatever it is that I do. Like, a lot. And I deserve a break.

Because I am a professional.

I had a drink with a dude tonight who randomly stumbled across this here website, and he happened to be a huge lebowski fan (who isn't?), so I met him and he is a supercool dude, except his name is Dan, and I already know like four other Dans so it could get confusing.

Maybe I can become a professional Dan-friend-haver.

Cuz I got it like that.



Happy Friday.