Don't scream aboutDon't think aloudTurn your head now babyJust spit me out

For no real reason at all...





***

What's crackin'?

Me, I'm good.

I have a bunch of shit lining up like Rockettes, high kickin'.

I'd hate to spoil any of it, since my experiences are the rich earth from which these posts grow.

(Speaking of which, some dear friends of mine have absolutely scolded me for deleting my "friendship" post. A couple people said it was one of the best things I have written. I actually liked it, too. It just felt a little too... naked.

But, fuck it. I've known artists to burn paintings, tear up novels and never record beautiful songs.

Art is ephemeral.

And, in a strange way, this is art.

Whether you like it or not.

But fuck you if you don't.

Go away.

Shoo.

Nothing to see here.

Move along.)

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300 posts ago... I wrote this.

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I find it strange that nearly 200 people have read today's post, yet only 20 people voted in that poll. I guess that would be 10% voter turnout.

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Are you afraid that I will somehow track you with a magic chocolate chip cookie, and then reveal to my hundreds of readers that "Somebody who works at Millbank Tweed Law firm in LA, and uses Firefox for a web browser voted for KAYAKING!!! HA HA HA HA! EXPOSED!"

Do you really think I care enough to do something like that?



I care more about whether my cat likes turkey and chicken better than salmon food.

(I really do.)

Anyway, you're weirdos, all of you.

(She likes turkey and chicken, if you must know.)



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A couple of you freaky chicks asked for a naked picture.



That's as close as you're going to get.

Perverts.

Now, about that reach-around...

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UJ's dog.



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Big Sky Country



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Already a request for a reach-around!

Check it, kids... this one has talent. It is on the links below, and to the right. <<< Or just click that, you lazy bastards... Besides, she is a she, internetters. Check it.

My condolences on you recent loss, Princess Cat.

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Are you not entertained?

Sit and drink pennyroyal tea

After all of my recent long-winded ramblings, it's time here for some quick-hitters:

Bells called. He is in for the whitewater kayaking. I briefly considered picking up a lifejacket, since I don't have one.

But then I remembered life jackets are for pussies, just like helmets, seat belts, stop signs and sunscreen.

So I will definitely be kayaking.

The poll results, however, are leaning in favor of suicide by mountain bike.

If mountain biking is still winning by Friday afternoon, why, I'll just have to do both.

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If you have a blog of your own, and you have linked me, please let me know and I will put up a link here.

I have no way of knowing if you have done this.

It's common courtesy- I'll give you a reach-around.

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Days are just flying by lately.

I haven't been sleeping.

It was another restless 5 hour night, bringing my sleep total to 21 hours in four days.

Yesterday at the gym, I was on the elliptical trainer for about an hour, and I spent long stretches running with my eyes closed, because I was so tired.

This wouldn't work too well on a treadmill, but those elliptical trainiers have footpads and handles. You'd have to be retarded or high on glue to fall off one.

My longest "nap" was 7 minutes.

That's a long time to run with your eyes closed.

And my heart rate stayed at 150, right where I like it.

Now that's multitasking.

It's not quite George Costanza eating a pastrami sandwich while having sex, but it is in the same ball park.

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My sprained thumb is still giving me fits.

Not only does it hurt like hell to play guitar and retrieve things from my left front pocket, but it has also cut into my hitch-hiking schedule.

Also, if I want to sit around with my thumb up my ass, I have to go righty.

And then I am left with my thumbless left hand to eat chips and work the remote.

It's tough to work a remote with no thumb.