Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Three mc's and one DJ
We be gettin' down with no delay

I spoke with Will Danger today.

Will used to live in Alaska.

We were discussing the town of Whitehorse, in the Yukon. This fair hamlet came up in conversaton because there is someone in Whitehorse who reads this here website.

Look on a map.

Whitehorse is way the fuck up there.

Anyway, Will got to talking, and when he gets a head of steam going, it's a real treat...

"You know, Joe, those socialists in Canada, all they do is sit around and smoke and bitch about things. Smoke and bitch."


"Yup. Smoke and bitch. Actually, once I was in Whitehorse. I stopped there on my drive from Anchorage to Seattle.

It was pretty surreal.

I was sitting in one of Whitehorse's finest eating establishments, with all the smokers and bitchers, enjoying a greasy Canadian breakfast. Out of nowhere this huge jumbo jet came out of the sky and landed on the local landing strip, which was barely long enough.

Joe, lemme tell ya, it was weird. This huge fuckin' plane. It barely had room to land.

This jumbo jet belched up 500 confused fuckin' Koreans. Whitehorse. The Yukon, baby.

They were all dressed up in suits, muttering, 'is this united state? is this united state?'

All these dressed-up Koreans, just wandering around Whitehorse, confused as hell, freezing their Korean balls off.

Of course, all the smokers and bitchers started smoking up a storm and bitching about just what the fuck these 500 belched-up Koreans were doing in Whitehorse.

They were as confused as the Koreans, but, let's face it, this was smoking and bitching material for the next five years.

I got the fuck out of there before the Koreans descended on the diner like some kinda Red Dawn.



[silence, while I process this, and while Will admires his story like a well-rendered belch]



"What were the belched-up Koreans doing in Whitehorse?"

"Oh, yeah. That was September 11, 2001. They were flying to New York. They were stuck in Whitehorse for a few days. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Shit.

I gotta go. Talk to ya later."