Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Hey little sister
It's a nice day to
start again.
It's a nice day for a
White Wedding.

This is the guest blog from my buddy, The Eck. Great premise...


My wife and I recently attended a wedding, which has caused me to think about weddings in general, and thus give them a “power rating” since I like lists.

My top 5 ranking of wedding fun in order from best to worst. This does not include my own.

Sister/Brothers wedding
Clearly nothing tops this, particularly if one is part of the wedding party with no real responsibilities (i.e. best man). Perhaps the closest thing us mortals have to being a celebrity. These wedding can be particularly memorable when one is single.

Best man in a wedding
A very close second. The only real downfall can be the ring/toast/etc. Also has the potential to be particularly memorable if single.

Being part of the wedding party

Very good friend OF MINE getting married

Close immediate relative (not in wedding party)

Please notice that none of the top 5 includes any of the following,
Wife’s close friend getting married,
Wife’s cousin getting married,
Wife’s brother’s friend getting married,

Yet out of duty, I have attended each one of these.

Now, before any of you husbands get bent out of shape thinking that I don’t wear the pants in my family, here are some of the weddings that I have outright refused to attend.

Wife’s cousin (wife was in Honduras, so it would have been me and my in-laws)
Wife’s second cousin
Wife’s co-worker’s daughter
Wife’s brother’s roommate

Two weeks ago I accompanied my wife to the wedding and reception (= full wasted Saturday) of a friend that she hadn’t spoken to in almost two years. The church wedding part was okay. I actually took my Iriver along and recorded some audio from the ceremony; this kept my sufficiently occupied. The reception is where we really ran into problems. We quickly discovered that we knew exactly 0 other guests. If I were still in my twenties and single, this awkwardness would have been easily overcome with the free beer. However, about two years ago I solved a similar (wedding shower) problem with this solution and apparently when you are married and in your thirties it is less acceptable.

From this experience I have cultivated my new wedding rules.

I will not attend any wedding reception unless there is going to be at least one very good friend of mine in attendance.
There must be at least ten people in attendance that I know well (mother and father-in-law DO NOT COUNT).
The people referenced above must know how to drink beer and/or shots.

This weekend I will be attending my last wedding of the summer. This one is for a very good friend of mine. I am fully confident that my new wedding rules will be followed.

Thanks, Eck!

Jenny Jenny, who can I turn to?
You give me somethin I can hold onto
Now you think I'm like the others before
who saw your number on the wall

A couple of housekeeping items:

- We shut down our Wisconsin cell phones, so those numbers you have programmed are no longer valid. The only remnant of Wisconsin left is my driver's license and the long "o's" in my accent. Y'knohw?

- I will be posting Eck's guest blog shortly.

- Here is a view out back 40...

I sure did receive some hilarious emails and phone calls today. Apparently, shame works.

I got this from Ivan:

I received a phone call from Henry Hill describing what he did this weekend. I do not have clearance from the principals to post the details, but let's say that he received an eye-opening peek into a very different life-style. Very. Different.

"The Gooch" sent me a very, very funny email that I have permission to post as a guest blog.

Derivan sent me an email giving me the business. Just like old times.

Quagmire himself also gave me a call from the mean streets of New York. It was good to hear from him.

I also got an email epistle on Bird-Magic from Colclough, my college roomate and one of my very best friends, in fact, he was "Best Dude" at my wedding.

Good times. Good times.

There is a lot cooking right now that I can't get into in the blogosphere. A lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous.

Peace out.

Stay tuned for the Eck.