When she comes to greet meShe is mercy at my feet

My girlfriend just told me that I smell like ham.

That's right.

I smell like ham.

Ham.

I am two steps away from a department store santa, hung over and belching into his beard.

I bet he smells like ham, too.

Maybe I am ahead of my time. Ahead of the curve with the whole smelling like ham thing. Smelling like ham is the new black.