Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Girl you're good
And I've got wild knees
For you
On a mountain range
I'm Dr. Strange
For you

Listening to some T-Rex. This lyric is from Mambo Sun.

Good tune.

Anyway, I had an encounter with some wildlife right here in my house.

It was more brutal than Apocalypto.

(I saw Apocalypto the other night. It was a fairly good flick with some incredible action sequences, like the main character fleeing a gi-normous jaguar, but, honestly, the violence was so over-the-top graphic and came at you so non-stop that it was laughable.

For fook's sake, you see no less than three still-beating hearts ((yes, the former owners got to see their hearts beating)), a good half-dozen beheadings, a handful of various impalements, a slit throat, a jaguar mauling and much more. You even see the everloving afterbirth in a birth sequence near the end.

By the afterbirth, I was laughing aloud.

Ridiculous.

But still, it's kind of a cool story, and parts are incredible.

So take that for what it is worth, and sorry for the spoilers. Oops. Should've said that earlier. Sucks for you. Sorry.)

I had a real-life brush with this kind of violence recently.

There was an incident with a panther, not a jaguar, at my house.

A full-on mauling.

It will probably hit the papers and cable news tonight.

The panther arose from her slumber.





She caught the scent and began to stalk her prey.



The prey grazed, unaware.



She approached from downwind.



It happened so quickly.



The poor thing never stood a chance against The Claws of Fury.



My assistant, Jim, was able to subdue and tag the beast, while I took pictures from the safety of the helicopter.



Even tranquilized, you can see the coiled power.



We examined the carcass.



We had to depart quickly, because the tranquilizer was wearing off, and we did not want to get caught between her and the kill.



It is a rare privelege to see a predator of this level, engaged in the end result of thousands of years of natural selection, doing what it was made to do.

Powerful.

Savage.

Beautiful.

I am the Mike Jordan of recordin'

Last night, while grocery shopping, I bought an eye patch in the pharmacy section.

It was the first thing I opened when I got the gorceries in the house, and I immediately tried it on.

This is going to be a good look for me.

Sure, you sacrifice little things like "depth perception," and "field of vision," but those are mere trifles compared to the importance of style and flair.

This is not a joke. I really bought an eye patch.

I definitely have already received $ 2 worth of fun from it.