Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Shake ya ass, but watch yourself
Shake ya ass, show me what you're workin' with

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LIZ! I hope you have a great one.

Love you.

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Squirrely little grommets.

Talked to Quagmire today. We hadn't chatted in a while, so it was good to catch up. Soon, he will be the most educated person I know. He already has a PhD in Sock Puppetry with an emphasis in Mime. Now, he is going back for an M.D. I guess he wants to be an ass doctor. It's a natural fit with the sock puppetry and whiteface, really.

It was good to talk to you Quagmire. Safe travels.

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I'm kind of jonesing to go to Costco. I don't really need anything, though. I think I will just go browse... (read: buy $ 300 worth of crap I don't need in 50 pound increments.) It's my favorite store. It's strange, I know... but whaddya gonna do? I don't really shop. I hang out in bookstores a lot, but that is about it.

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Christmas kind of snuck up on me this year. I ran out to the bank and bought a slew of savings bonds for my godchildren, nieces, nephews and pretend nieces and nephews- Lucy, Katie, Joey, Birdy, JM, Aden and Trey. (I treat T-Rex's and Bells' children as if they were my nieces & nephews.) I know it is a boring gift, but everyone gets toys and games for kids.

And, like I said... I don't shop.

I figure those kids are going to think I am The Coolest Guy In The World when their parents turn over years and years worth of savings bonds from all those birthdays and Christmases... And of course, I hope they blow it on something totally frivolous, like a trip to Europe, a motorcycle or a geisha.

I am sure all their parents may have something different to say about it, but, shit... we all dream about receiving a sum of money from some unexpected source.

That'd go a lot farther toward my quest to be the Coolest Guy In The World than (cue air quotes) books or tuition.

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We have digital cable out here, and it is great. I am a bit frightened, though, to choose between 5 different MTV channels that...gasp... actually play music.

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I have changed around my fitness routine, both to accomodate the weather and to be more snowboarding-specific. It now consists of about 50 minutes of nordic trak, and then about 20 minutes lifting, core and jumping exercises to improve explosion. I am also going to mix in yoga once a week for flexibility.

And then I run headfirst into a wall seven or eight times.

Speaking of explosion... is there a better one-two punch than "explosive diarrhea" in the English language?

No other two word combos hold the same terrible power and fury.

It's a show-stopper.

"What's up with Bob?"

"Explosive diarrhea."

"This battle station is fully operational."

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And with that, I am gonna go kick out the jams.