Thursday, April 27, 2006

I went up to this girl, she said, "Hi, my name is Sheena."
I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina.

Admit it.

You just played "Funky Cold Medina" on your mental jukebox and bobbed your head, didn't you?

It's OK.

If you wanna play "Wild Thing," go right ahead.

Tone Loc's alright with me.

And, while you're there, if you want it, baaaaaby, you got it, go on and bust a move.

Your best friend Harry has a brother Larry
In five days from now he's gonna marry
He's hopin you can make it there if you can
'Cause in the ceremony you'll be the best man
You say "neato"... check your libido
And roll to the church in your new tuxedo

So on and so forth...

You knew Flea laid down that bass line in "Bust a Move," didn't you?

He's the reason you remember that little slice of 80's hip hop.


Man, I am sore. On my run today, I took the restrictor plate off the Red Dragon to give her some extra juice. Whoa.

I tacked an extra mile on my usual route, and, lo and behold, I found my Norther Harrier hawks. Well, I have no idea if they are the same ones, but it was just like old times.

One of them dive-bombed me, coming within about ten feet, but I used my patented hawk-startling bellow, and scared him off.

Here are some pictures of my friendly harrier hawks from last summer.

Even though they make me nervous as hell and fear for the safety of my eyeballs and scalp, I love these birds.

"The Northern Harrier has a body length of 17 - 24 inches, a wingspan of 3 1/2 - 4 1/2 feet, and weighs 12 - 18 ounces. The female bird is quite a bit larger than the male.

This is the only North American member of a group of hawks known as harriers. All hunt by flying close to the ground and taking small animals by surprise. They seldom pursue their prey in the air or watch quietly from an exposed perch, as do other birds of prey. Harriers have keener hearing than other hawks; their disk-shaped faces, not unlike those of owls, enable them to amplify sound." (You can see the disk-shaped face in my pictures above...)


Here's a professional picture...

If you think about that, it's pretty badass.

And I can understand how you can mistake a big, lumbering, 6'2" Dude as a small mammal to be taken by surprise.

This is a bit off topic, but did anybody else catch Kobe's baseline dunk over Steve Nash last night?

I know, I know, nobody watches the NBA anymore except for me, but fuh-ckin A. It's the playoffs, and they're actually trying now.

He pretty much jumped right over Steve Nash.

'Twas filthy.


And in case you didn't see it... there is a video on this page, upper right-hand corner.

Chiggity ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out.


What day is it today?


Yeah, it's Thursday.


I have this fantasy of purchasing a piece of property in another country and spending part of the year there... namely Costa Rica, or maybe on the Baja in Me-heee-co.

I envision living like a feudal lord, ruling over all that I survey with an iron fist and a pocketful of five dollar bills.

I dream of sun, waves, hammocks, sand, longboards and long, lazy days.

I will have a sidekick.

He will be a really cool old guy who hangs out and wears all white clothes.

He will bring me fresh fish tacos and umbrella drinks.

He will laugh at all my jokes.

We will race around the beach in a jacked-up, tricked-out dune buggy and get in adventures.

I will wear a Hawaiian shirt.

And maybe a sombrero.

There may or may not be a British guy with a moustache who hires us to solve mysteries.

And it will be good.

So sayeth the Dude.

And so it shall be.

Well, here's a poke at you
You're gonna choke on it, too
You're gonna lose that smile
Because all the while
I can see for miles and miles

I chipped my tooth on a glass this morning. Just smacked it right into my tooth. No, I don't look like Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber. It's not that bad.

Lesson #1: Don't drink anything until you've had your coffee.

Conundrum: How do you drink the coffee in light of Lesson #1?

Consider: Straw? Rubber sippy cup?


Hot off the presses, from the Bozeman Daily Chronicle police reports:

€ A man tried on lipstick at an East Main Street cosmetic store. He then left to play guitar. He made the store's employees uncomfortable.

That is so awesome, I don't even know what to do with it.

Imagine working in a store.

Dude comes in, puts on some lipstick, and goes outside to play guitar.

You're uncomfortable.

What do you do?

What do you do?

(You sure as shit don't let that bus drop below 55 mph.)

That's right, you call the cops, and make sure the authorities keep an eye on this scoundrel.