Thursday, October 23, 2008

BREAKING NEWS

THIS IS NOT A LYRIC. FOR REAL. SOMETHING VERY SERIOUS HAS HAPPENED.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – Just like the "Seinfeld" episode where George wanted everyone to call him "T-Bone," Beyonce Knowles would like to be known by a bold new name.

The R&B singer has christened herself "Sasha Fierce" for her new double album, "I Am ... Sasha Fierce," due in U.S. stores on November 18, and has released a lengthy justification for the comical moniker.

"I have someone else that takes over when it's time for me to work and when I'm on stage, this alter ego that I've created that kind of protects me and who I really am," the former Destiny's Child frontwoman said in a statement.



"Sasha Fierce is the fun, more sensual, more aggressive, more outspoken side and more glamorous side that comes out when I'm working and when I'm on the stage."

Additionally, she has set up a cryptic MySpace page (http://www.myspace.com/sashafierce) that gives a "lucky person" the opportunity to receive a personal message and a gift bag valued at $500.

As George found out, nicknames usually do not work when they are self-bestowed. His colleagues thought he should be called Koko the monkey. In real life, rapper Eminem had better luck with his alter ego "Slim Shady," which he said came to him while he was on the toilet.

Beyonce released her previous solo album, "B'Day," to coincide with her 25th birthday in September 2006. It debuted at No. 1 on the U.S. pop chart and yielded the No. 1 single "Irreplaceable."



"I Am ... Sasha Fierce" will be distributed by Columbia Records.

(Reporting by Dean Goodman; Editing by Belinda Goldsmith)



This is HUGE. This is a paradigm shift for society.

If I were black, I would exclaim, "Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed-it"

Alas, I am not, so instead I will purse my lips, stroke my chin and ponder how to deal with this.

I'll take the servant's path
I must refuse your test
Push me and I will resist
This behavior's not unique

I can walk away.

I can run.

I can hide.

You won't find me.

You can make a grand entrance.

I'll end up alone like I began.

It makes me wonder whether ...

I'm sure there is fun to be had.

The snow will fall and cover all our sins.

The sweat dripping from your brow will be justified.

We dug a deep enough hole.

Nobody will find it.

It's buried.

I heard they invented a love removal machine in Switzerland.

It is a robot with mechanized arms that would never lose at Operation.

Why are you reading this?

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