Friday, May 27, 2005

I wish I was like you, easily amused.

Finished final billings to clients. Closed one bank account. Consolidated another. Changed addresses for various subscriptions, credit cards, investment companies, insurance companies and bills. I am listening to an eclectic mix of cd's that my friend, P., burned for me. (Thanks!) It is great when you get some new music that is actually worth hearing. Today's selections, which are new to me, include John Prine, John Hiatt and the Crystal Method. I like them all.

Speaking of P... strangely, P. and I have known each other pretty darn well for almost ten years. We see each other almost daily. We're about to say goodbye for now. And I just learned 2 brand-new things about my friend...

P. writes some damn good poetry, and is also a fellow fan of Charles Bukowski. Who knew? I thought you had to be a dissolute, debauched, twisted bastard to love Bukowski, but P. is by no means such an individual. Still waters run deep, indeed.

At this phase of the moving process, the Type-A gnome who lives in my brain is telling me to push the panic button: HEY, JACKASS! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! YOU ARE ABOUT TO SPEND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TO MOVE TO THE MIDDLE OF FREAKING MONTANA!

YOU JUST WALKED AWAY FROM A SIX-FIGURE A YEAR JOB! YOU MADE YOUR OWN HOURS! YOU TOOK AN ASSLOAD OF VACATION TIME! YOU HAD SIDE GIGS WITH THE SCHOOL BOARD, A BANK BOARD AND TEACHING A COLLEGE COURSE THAT MADE YOU AN EXTRA 15 GRAND A YEAR! YOU COULD HAVE PUT IT ON CRUISE CONTROL FOR THE NEXT 20 YEARS!

AAAARRRRGH!

The other gnome who lives there is saying:

I wonder what's for lunch? What type of camp stove should I buy? Do I need a new tent? What is that smell? Is it the dogs, or does my office just stink? Is Nate on Six Feet Under really dead or is this some crazy dream sequence? (Nobody tell me- we just started season 3 on DVD last night.) Should we join Netflix or just stick with a video store? Hey, all caps gnome, would you shut the fuck up? I am thinking about a nap.

Speaking of friends, I got a message from a good buddy of mine, FD, today. FD shot the shit with Vince Vaughan in Chi-town last night. FD is about to get married. Vince told him, "Look at me, Frank. Do I look happy? Wave at the baby, wave at the baby. There they are. Always watching. Always judging."

Just kidding about that part, but he did meet and talk to Vince Vaughan last night...

Me, I went to a an utterly frustrating bargaining session with the teacher's union for a few hours. Gnome #2 is drinking tequila and doing the Mexican Hat Dance around his red gnome hat in anticpation of never having to do that shit again.

Stonehenge, where the demons dwell. Where the banshees live and they do live well.

T-minus 1.5 work days and counting.

Strange, scary, stressful- dealing with health, auto, & homeowner's insurance; copying files from the work computer; being treated as if you are already gone by people while you are right in front of them; packing; real estate closings; money; changing addresses for a million things; closing bank accounts; juggling investments; are my clients going to be OK?; trying to fit 2 months worth of social engagements into ten days; resigning from boards of directors; worried parents; holy-shit-am-I-doing-the-right-thing?

This? -

Exciting, liberating, joyful- coming into work unshowered, wearing jeans (OK, that happened plenty before I resigned); walking around with a shit-eating grin on my face (OK, that happened plenty, too); no more practicing law; knowing that in about three weeks, I will be looking at grizzlies; knowing that in about 7 months, I will be standing alone on a snowboard, looking down a gladed slope, soaking in the moment before the thrill of gravity puts my heart in my throat; knowing that the mortgage is paid in Bozeman until September and that all I really have to do is, well, nothing...

Or this? -



The only thing I really know is that I've got a fever... and the only prescription is MORE COWBELL.