Monday, October 31, 2005

I could have lied, I'm such a fool, my eyes could never never keep their cool. I showed her and I told her how she struck me, but I'm fucked up now.

Big Sky opens Thanksgiving weekend. It got a fair amount of snow over the last few days.

I will be home & in the Twin Cities for the first couple weeks of December, so I won't get to dive right into the season. That's OK, there are some more important things than snowboarding on the immediate horizon.

It has been a difficult week for several reasons, and I really can't/won't write about any of it here. The thing is, whenever I sit down to write anything, these issues dominate my thoughts, which creates a feedback loop that prevents me from writing anything worthwhile. Usually, I sit down and write about what is on my mind (not much!). Twenty minutes later, you have a post.

It just doesn't feel genuine to write about the superficial shit, like my huevos rancheros or running, since what's on my mind is far from superficial. Wait, hold up.

Those huevos weren't superficial. They were soulful... spiritual. *pause for a moment to collect myself*

There have been a lot of personal issues that I have skirted here, alluded to rather than addressed, hinted at, danced around or flat-out omitted.

If I had kept my identity anonymous, I might have been tempted to discuss any number of intensely personal issues here. It might be cathartic and somewhat thrilling to do such a thing, but, alas, I didn't keep it anonymous. So I will merely write about actually discussing these issues, rather than simply addressing them.

Oh, I am sure it would make for interesting reading if I dished the dirt and laid it all out there. (Call: You friggin' voyeurs! Response: Exhibitionist!) But I actually know a number of people who read this, and they actually know me. Not in the biblical sense, but in the friends-family-acquaintances sense.

I am sure you are thinking, "Again with the alluding, hinting, and dancing round it." Well, we all go home with a case of the blue-balls now and then, and now it's your turn. Maybe if I had gotten to know more of you in the biblical sense, you wouldn't feel that way. Well, there's always cold showers and huevos rancheros.

In any case, soul-searching, soul-baring introspection is not my forté. Smart-assed, deep-as-a-puddle observations and smug, mildly cynical witticisms... now that's my strong suit. Anyway, I have been mailing it in recently. Sorry about that.

Christ, maybe I just need to go hiking. That's exactly what I'll do. (™, Buster Bluth Productions)

Whew. I feel better now that I got all that off my chest. Thanks for listening. *sniff*

Weird post.

Whaddaya gonna do, huh?

There's always tomorrow. And tomorrow never knows.