Friday, January 30, 2009

I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That keep me inside

This is my 999th post here at The Dude Abides (est. 1995). I am sitting in my "office," which faces East.

If it weren't midnight, I would be looking out the window above my monitor at trhousands of acres of open land, hills gradually becoming mountains.

The only man-made thing that I can see is this geodesic dome house that some hippie/farmer/montana militia people built in the 70's. (If you are reading this, please don't send me any white powders. Or pipe bombs. I guess you could just walk over and hand them to me.)

There is a herd of 40-50 mule deer that cross South to North in the morning, and then North to South in the evening every day.

I have binoculars on the windowsill.

There is a big, bad buck that leads them, and a big, bad buck that brings up the rear. Every day.

They sleep in the South, at higher elevation, and come down to eat, hang out and do whatever it is that mule deer do during the day.

At dusk, they head back.

Since that first post, my life has changed in oh so many ways, as the Beatles said.

For one, I now pee sitting down in the middle of the night. I have also really tried to stop swearing in my posts.

I can now snowboard like the house is on fire. I also play a fair guitar. Technically, I am not great, but I bring it with the passion and fire of a Neil Young one-note solo.

The stock market has soared and crashed.

There is no sense in pretending. Your eyes give you away. Go ahead and give it to me.

I met the yin to my yang. She cooks me brekfast burritos before I head up to the mountain to ride nasty chutes. She sings like an angel come back to earth. I love her so.



My best friend plays drums in my band.

My other best friends have taken the time and trouble to come and visit me.

I was a lawyer when I started this. I now do something else, and due to forces beyond my control, that is about to abruptly change. I have spent the last week lining up suitors for my next dance. I cannot believe that they want to write fat checks for the privelege of me sitting at one of their desks, instead of the one where I currently abide.

It's ridiculous, really.

My cat, Doodlebug, just jumped in my lap. She is 11 years old. She came from my then legal secreatary's farm. I reached inside of a John Deere tractor engine and pulled her out. She fit in the palm of my hand. Had her ever since. I picked her up and cradled her to my face, kissing her on the side of her face, and stroking her chin until her eyes rolled back.

During my tenure here at the Dude Abides, I have said goodbye to my faithful dog, Puck.

He was 15. I had him for the last 8 years of his life, and I learned the lesson of unconditional love from him. I still miss him, and I still cry sometimes when I think about him. I keep a picture of me and him on my desk.

I have returned to my roots and my family, again and again.

We have seen some trials and tribulations, and some wonderful times.

I have seen transcendent shows.

I have played fantastic music, where the whole rises above the sum of the parts.

I have climbed mountains.

I have seen eagles, grizzly bears, wolves and elk.

I have run rapids.

I have felt the ocean.

I have rocked.

I have rolled.

I have lived large, and had more fun than one man could ever expect.

I have laughed.

I have loved.

I have done the best I can with what I have.